Logan (Dublin, b. 2004)

unphase

2021

Pen, pencil, paper, digital

The artist combines a series of portraits with poetry documenting his journey as a young transgender man. The drawing displayed above is his depiction of gender. In the exhibition, this drawing is placed at the centre and is surrounded by his poetry. These poems represent the artist's queer experience. Portraits of important figures surround this in a circular timeline. The digital portraits are contemporary figures and the hand-drawn portraits are historical queer people. They have all had an impact on the artist’s life.

Poetry

Full transcripts available at bottom of page.

Logan (Dublin, b. 2004), unphase (detail), 2021. © Logan

Logan (Dublin, b. 2004), unphase (detail), 2021. © Logan

Logan (Dublin, b. 2004), unphase (detail), 2021. © Logan

Logan (Dublin, b. 2004), unphase (detail), 2021. © Logan

 

Portraits

Logan (Dublin, b. 2004), unphase (detail), 2021. © Logan

Hatshepsut (c.1507-1458BCE)

Hatshepsut was the ruler of Egypt around 1473 BCE. Hatshepsut was called king although they were assigned female at birth. Ancient Egypt had a very different view of gender. Using the word King was almost a statement of intent to become King. Hatshepsut’s time as Pharaoh was almost unknown until the 1800s.

Logan (Dublin, b. 2004), unphase (detail), 2021. © Logan

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) and Lili Elbe (1882-1931)

Oscar Wilde was a writer born in Dublin. His writing is still very relevant today and provides a perspective on life. In 1895, while living in London, he was sentenced to two years hard labour for ‘gross indecency’ with another man. He wrote ‘The Ballad of Reading Gaol’, which was based on his experience in prison.

Lili Elbe was a Danish painter. She was a transgender woman and wrote a book, ‘Man into Woman’ (1931), about her transition, which was credited to her friend Ernst Ludwig Harthorn Jacobson. Lili was one of the first people to undergo gender reassignment surgery. Unfortunately, she died of complications after her fifth procedure.

Logan (Dublin, b. 2004), unphase (detail), 2021. © Logan

Miles McKenna (b.1995) and King Princess (b.1998)

Miles McKenna was born in the US. He is a social media influencer and an actor. He makes content about gender and LGBTQ+ identities. He tries to make light of how hard it was for him to come out and be queer. He is gay, and identifies as trans masc. His pronouns are he/they.

King Princess is an American singer, songwriter and music producer. She became famous in 2018 with her singles ‘1950’ and ‘Talia’, before releasing her first album in 2019, ‘Cheap Queen’. She identifies as genderqueer, uses she/her pronouns and is gay.

Logan (Dublin, b. 2004), unphase (detail), 2021. © Logan

Noah Adams (b.1999) and Kovu Kingsrød (b.2001)

Noah Adams was born in England. He is a social media influencer and a musician. He has written four songs: ‘Asthma Attack’, ‘Underachiever’, ‘Life’s A Bit’ and ‘Stupid’ and covered songs like ‘Parents with Doll Skin’ by YUNGBLUD. He is trans masc, uses he/him pronouns and is bisexual. He makes content about LGBTQ+ topics, his life and music career. 

Kovu Kingsrød was born in Norway. He is a social media influencer and makes videos on YouTube, Instagram and Twitter. He is a self-proclaimed vegetarian and bone collector. He identifies as trans masc (he/him) and has used his social media platforms to educate people and share his experience with LGBTQ+ topics and mental health.

Poem transcripts

Secret

The first time I heard the word transgender 
I was told they were less of a contender
They were confused and wrong 
Don’t join in with that song 

Later I heard the same word on the internet 
The person seemed quite correct 
Unlike what I had heard 
This wasn’t that absurd

Quietly I followed these people  
Wondering if they could really be so evil 
I realised I was just like them 
But didn’t want to be condemned 

I kept it quiet 
Hidden and private 
I let this knowledge brew
But my life it was untrue 

Told one 
Then I had begun 
To tell that unspoken truth 
And let everyone else dispute

But then I thought 
About the others, and the sorrow this had brought 
So I stayed with it tight
Never let it out if my sight 

Still being me 
But hiding the he 
Wanting to be freed
But happiness not guaranteed 

I’m still holding this close and tight 
I look at it every night  
I shall never let this out 
To that I am devout

 

Growing

Standing here looking at my reflection 
Wondering if I need to make a correction 
Looking the way I want
But worrying how the world will taunt 

Tear rolls down my cheek 
Boys aren’t allowed be weak
Mustn’t let my feelings out
My eyes must always be going through a drought 

Picking at my black nails
Manicures aren’t meant for us males
Make them chipped, make them old
No I’m not still being controlled 

Wipe the black streak from my face 
Make sure there is no trace 
Correct my eyeliner 
So I can look like one of the finer

Put on that pink shirt 
Who will this really hurt 
Add some rings 
Why not build up your sins?

‘Wow you’re so brave’
Was the support they gave  
Just seeing the finished conclusion 
Unaware of the prior confusion 

When I was young I was told by the wise 
Pink is for girls, blue is for the guys  
Girls wear dresses, boys wear suits 
Anything else would cause disputes 

But is conforming with  the ‘norm’ 
Really worth this internal storm?
Why should I hide my pride 
In order to stay on their side

 

It

It started quiet
It was easy to hide it  
A distant sound 
But tightly bound 

Slowly it unraveled 
And then it travelled
Less of a simple thing 
It began to sting

An oncogenic cell
Grows fast as hell
They don’t have any use
They just reproduce 

The other healthy cells
Stop working as well
They steal their life 
Seemingly out of spite 

My sound got louder 
As changed my outer
They no longer matched
I felt detached

Trying to solve the puzzle 
Was a lot of trouble 
With this internal tug-a-war
That was too hard to ignore

Once I figured it out
It got louder without a doubt 
Finally knowing the reason for the pain
Or was I just going insane?

What could I do?
Other than just let it brew 
Aware of its existence 
Unable to give any resistance

Too aware of my surrounding
In my thoughts drowning
Too young to be listened to 
So just sitting there, waiting for it to subdue

 

Buffering

Once she said daughter 
My day was slaughtered 
After that one word
The day was blurred 

I know it sounds dumb 
But from then on I was numb
Trying to trick my brain
So I felt less pain 

Losing my surrounding
Not trying a grounding 
Watching the hours go by
Wondering when I’ll be able to cry 

Ignorance is bliss
And now I reminisce 
About when I wasn’t conscious 
When I was less haunted 

But I decided to become aware 
It was something I could bare 
Dove in headfirst 
Now I’m fully submersed

Unable to take action 
Or have any impaction
So I stay fully submersed 
Because I dove in headfirst

 

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